Visiting Lalibela

Visiting Lalibela

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A few pearls

Boy, have we ever been learning a lot these past few weeks about helping a wounded heart heal. We certainly aren't perfect parents, but feel blessed to have a community of help out there to make suggestions to us. The following has worked well here and peace has returned to our house. More importantly, this child's smile has returned...

1.Take yourself out of the discipline decisions- I now have a cup with different jobs in it, like "clean out the refrigerator" or "sweep the floors of the bathrooms". The child, who has misbehaved, then reaches into the cup to take the desired chore. This takes me completely out of the discipline and it WORKS!!! I then choose a similar job close to the child to do, so we're close to each other and by the end of us getting our jobs done, the child is usually happy and talking...WHEW!!!

2. Kids with attachment issues may have to learn from someone else. As a homeschool Mom this was the hardest decision to make. It seems so counterintuitive, when a child is dealing with attachment, to not have them close to me. I LOVE having my kids home with me each day, but this child in particular, was struggling with learning from me and then allowing me to be the Mommy. We now have a plan in place that the child learns from someone else 2 hours/day and comes home READY to accept my hugs, my teaching (still doing math at home) and all interactions have been so positive.

3. I constantly tell myself, "God loves and created this child." WOW, what a difference an attitude adjustment on my part makes.

4. Diet-We've eliminated almost all sugar from the diet and are focusing on excellent nutrition. We love our Juice Plus supplements, daily fish oil (see below), natural antifungals and LOTS OF YOGURT. I have read so many articles by people much smarter than me about nutrition and its role in helping kids heal. Our physician here recommended a book to me called, "Sugars that Heal." I am a firm believer in the value of nutrition in all kids and especially in kids who have been malnurished. (Gabe, Hallie and Micah have all grown 4.5 inches since August) Our grocery/supplement bill might be up a bit, but our trips to the MD have been few and far between.

5. Nightly family prayer time. We spend about 15 minutes every night talking about our day and praying together as a family. This has been a huge help in bringing us closer together. I've heard "You can't pray for someone and be mad at them." I believe it's true and it's an amazing gift to hear my kids thank God for each other and truly lift each other up each night. I wish everyone who ever questioned, "What will this do to your biological kids?" could hear them pray for their siblings each night. What this adoption has done is grow us, stretch us and increase our capacity to love.

6. The Yes Ma'am chart. I love Michelle Duggar. Mike and I watch the Duggars each week to learn helpful parenting tips. In her book, Michelle talks about the importance of a joyful attitude when a child is given a task to do for Mom. She expects her kids to answer with "Yes Ma'am" or "Yes Ma'am, I'd be happy to." We have started a Yes Ma'am chart here (or Yes Sir, if It's Mike doing the asking). It is amazing how quickly we've seen kids say those words after a request is made. It can be as simple as, "Please hurry and get your coat on." When they say "Yes Ma'am", I know they actually heard me and I'm doing a lot less repeating. I LOVE polite kids and this has REALLY helped around our home.

My kids BEG to take the fish oils shown above- it is so important for all of them, especially my 5 from ET, who missed out on years of essential fatty acids, but all of us need these important oils. We like the Mango Peach the best and it can be ordered on or IT!

This picture doesn't show it very well, but my husband designed this boot/glove/hat dryer when we went skiing in Bozeman in February. (He actually built it in our hotel room, after a quick run to Home Depot) It is usually heard running every afternoon, after the kids have their outside play time. It can hold ALL of their gloves at once and even has valves to close off different parts if they're not needed...pretty cool, isn't it?

I couldn't resist putting in a picture of Dixie, after she ran in the wet snow last week. These snowballs, do not come off and get pretty painful for her so she gets a few extra baths in the winter, to get them off...Yes, we still have snow..No, we haven't seen our grass since November...but the oil work continues to grow and grow and grow.

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