Visiting Lalibela

Visiting Lalibela

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Dance

Life with a child with attachment issues is like a country two-step, two steps forward, one step back. Fortunately, we are ALL learning on a daily basis what love looks like and our dance seems to be moving forward more quickly than backward. I hope soon to be doing a line dance, where we all are moving with the same movements.

Again, as I talk about these issues, I want to be very careful not to identify the child, because I believe these issues won't always be here and I certainly don't want the child defined by this season of life. So, as impersonal as it sounds, I will be referring to the child as "it". The reason for blogging about our experiences is to help and encourage other families and help equip some that may need equipping.

Here are a few more pearls that seem to be working.

1. Leotard- When I used to work with kids with sensory issues, I would often have their parents get a tight spandex shirt or a leotard for the child to wear. The leotard has to be a little tight and small...This helps the child feel more comfortable in their skin. It's kind of like getting a hug all day long. We all know when our child has the leotard on and when the child doesn't. It's that effective. Now, we make sure we always have one clean and handy, in case one gets dirty or wet.

2. Reading facial expressions Again, I can look back on my experience with kids who have difficulty reading facial expressions to know that my child really doesn't read my face most of the time. The song, If You're Happy and you Know it" has played a good role in overcoming this. We are able to talk all the time about what a face should look like around family.

3. Not jumping to conclusions My child was able to tell me yesterday that I wasn't the target of the anger- there was an internal anger based on it's own actions. The child was mad at itself for not acting the way we all wanted.

4. Finally, this is not attachment related but is a pearl for language development. We are seeing HUGE improvements in reading and spoken language with the use of singing nursery rhymes. My kids have to follow along with their fingers the first time through and then are able to act out the songs the second time through. They are doing great! They are reading all kinds of new words because they're hearing them in the songs.

I know, without a doubt that God put this child in our home for a reason. I know without a doubt that my past experiences working with kids with sensory issues was for this exact time and place. I know without a doubt that God is faithful. It was evident in the love note I received from my child this morning...God is good. all the time.

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