Sometimes we will be cruising along with life and I forget that our kids haven't been here that long. Sometimes, though, like tonight, we remember and have to laugh.
We were watching an old Steve Martin movie tonight. Steve Martin proceeds to kiss his "wife" in the movie. One of our kids said, " Why is he kissing that woman when he already has a wife?" She was referring to the wife in Father of the Bride, a completely different movie. It hit us that this child didn't know that all of the movies we watch are fictitious. I guess reality tv makes it even more confusing, when we watch shows like the DUggars, as the cameras follow everyday families through their lives. She just assumed that everytime the cameras are rolling, real life is happening...
We got a big chuckle out of it, as we explained the difference..
We had a great day enjoying our company, Summit Energy today...If anyone from Summit reads this, we are so very proud to have the team we have here in ND. Williston hosted an energy festival, celebrating all of the energy work that is here. It really was impressive watching the parade, with all of the big oil companies driving all of their big equipment down Main Street. One of our employees, Lacey, won Miss Williston Basin Energy. She is an amazing young lady, beautiful, well spoken and tough as nails, working on our one of the pipeline crews, using big equipment better than most men could. LB got to ride in the parade with her, as our LIttle Miss Summit. She was the perfect representative of our family in the parade.. She is such a miracle as is this company.
Visiting Lalibela
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
how are we doing?
We have settled into a new normal at our house and that normal includes GREAT PEACE. School is going extremely well, with my friend teaching my curly headed kiddos SO MUCH everyday. They absolutely love her and school this year and E,J, and K and I are booking through Algebra, US History, Writing and Science. They are working on Spanish, with Rosetta Stone. My newest kiddos are making HUGE strides in both reading and math. Layne and Gavin are flying through 2nd grade math and reading at a 3rd grade level. I am only stating these things because God deserves praise in all of this!! When LB was a baby, we weren't sure she would ever be able to learn, much less learn as quickly as she does at 6 years of age.
Cross-country is in full swing, so our weekends are spent going from meet to meet and loving every minute of it. The kids are doing well and making some great friends. On Saturday, Janika was in 3rd (over 100 runners), when she tripped over a tree stump that was right in the middle of the path. She went down, twisting her ankle pretty badly. Mike happened to be standing right there and asked her if she could walk. She replied, "It hurts!!" He said, "Run! You can think about it later." She started running again and finished in 9th!! We all learned a bit about courage watching her gut it out. Our little Gavin had every Williston parent yelling for him as he booked it to an 8th place finish in the elementary race. You can't help but cheer for him when he runs because he smiles so big while he's passing kids twice his size- he loves to run and we love to watch him. Our other three runners did equally as well--
Our new normal also consists of weekly calls to the Ranch for Kids. Last night was our first night to talk to our child who is there. We are learning so much through this process, especially about our own prayer life. We would love continued prayers for our child who is not with us right now, prayers for the child to know the love of Jesus. You see, with Jesus, all the other stuff should be so much easier.
Cross-country is in full swing, so our weekends are spent going from meet to meet and loving every minute of it. The kids are doing well and making some great friends. On Saturday, Janika was in 3rd (over 100 runners), when she tripped over a tree stump that was right in the middle of the path. She went down, twisting her ankle pretty badly. Mike happened to be standing right there and asked her if she could walk. She replied, "It hurts!!" He said, "Run! You can think about it later." She started running again and finished in 9th!! We all learned a bit about courage watching her gut it out. Our little Gavin had every Williston parent yelling for him as he booked it to an 8th place finish in the elementary race. You can't help but cheer for him when he runs because he smiles so big while he's passing kids twice his size- he loves to run and we love to watch him. Our other three runners did equally as well--
Our new normal also consists of weekly calls to the Ranch for Kids. Last night was our first night to talk to our child who is there. We are learning so much through this process, especially about our own prayer life. We would love continued prayers for our child who is not with us right now, prayers for the child to know the love of Jesus. You see, with Jesus, all the other stuff should be so much easier.
Monday, August 29, 2011
rafting fun
River rafting in Durango was probably the best part of our trip together this summer. Enjoy the pictures!!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Our continued journey
We returned Friday night from taking our child to the Ranch for Kids. We are more hopeful than ever, after meeting the staff there. Everything our child has displayed, they have seen (I'm sure they've also seen a whole lot more). They gave us answers when we struggled. They gave smiles, when we really needed them. They gave encouragement. We met other kids who have been there for awhile and they are beautiful children...so much healing takes place at the Ranch..The family who runs the Ranch is living their calling, loving on kids from hard places, in a meaningful way. No hospital or institutional setting could give our child what is needed, but we believe, with God's help, the Ranch can.
School started yesterday here..we are blessed. One of our good friends is helping teach all of our curly headed kiddos and she is such a gift. I watched yesterday, as she explained a math lesson and she did it with such patience- the kids learned so much and I got to focus on 8th grade work.
People have asked how to pray- if you could continue to pray for our child, who is away right now. Pray that the work that needs to get done will get done quickly and healing start soon. Please continue to pray for everyone here, to really live what we believe and walk in forgiveness. Forgiveness has started as we remember each day that our child's actions were the result of early life experiences. If you really want to help...adopt a child, rescue other kids from experiencing what our child did and pray for the staff at the Ranch, who do the hard work of helping those kids affected by early life trauma.
School started yesterday here..we are blessed. One of our good friends is helping teach all of our curly headed kiddos and she is such a gift. I watched yesterday, as she explained a math lesson and she did it with such patience- the kids learned so much and I got to focus on 8th grade work.
People have asked how to pray- if you could continue to pray for our child, who is away right now. Pray that the work that needs to get done will get done quickly and healing start soon. Please continue to pray for everyone here, to really live what we believe and walk in forgiveness. Forgiveness has started as we remember each day that our child's actions were the result of early life experiences. If you really want to help...adopt a child, rescue other kids from experiencing what our child did and pray for the staff at the Ranch, who do the hard work of helping those kids affected by early life trauma.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Our journey of hope and healing
We haven't blogged much about our 3 week RV adventure and our time at home since. I started this blog to be an encouragement for other families to adopt, so when we have a tough story to share, we want to be mindful of how it is shared, so as to still encourage families to bring children into their homes. We still wholeheartedly believe that children need homes and our family is meant to advocate for the fatherless. With that being said, we felt it is time to share a bit of our journey these past months. Please pray before you continue to read, so you can truly hear what we are saying. Also, know that while we choose to share this journey on our blog, we are going to try and protect our child's identity, by referring to the child as it. We do realize this sounds impersonal, but it also serves as a protection.
One of our newly adopted children is struggling. If you are a reader of this blog, you know the child has been struggling for months, struggling to accept our love (particularly my love), our boundaries and our family. This struggle became so very apparent on our trip. While we watched everyone else bond and attach even more, we watched this child pull away and become more volatile the more time we spent together. This emotional volatility isn't new, but became almost unbearable in such close quarters. Spending three weeks in tight quarters is an excellent tool for increasing attachment for children who can attach. We have seen that with more hugs, smiles and laughter from one of our children. However, I think it's like pulling out toenails for those who struggle with attachment issues. It's just like our homeschool experience with our adopted children. For those who can attach, it has been the best choice. But for the child who has attachment disorders, it is almost painful to have to be around Mom all day, and in a variety of different roles. When our child feels like it has disappointed me with schoolwork or a behavior, the sadness becomes overwhelming and turns to mad and the mad to rage. The more the mad comes out, the more everyone else pulls away, thus creating a vicious cycle.
This child's story is completely different than the story of the other three siblings. It is this very difference that we're seeing played out in our home on a regular basis. It's the same reaction that we know many, many other adoptive families live with on a regular basis. It's the same reaction we were warned against over a year ago, when we started this process. We knew the cost then and we know the cost know and our hearts haven't changed one bit. This child is worth the cost. We honestly wouldn't change our decision a year ago.
However, we have come to a point of knowing that our love is not enough for our child. This child needs more help than we can offer here, even with excellent counselors and supporting environment. This child needs more than the medications we've already tried. At the end of the week, we will drive to a place of healing, a place of hope, The Ranch for Kids in Montana, which specializes in kids who have experienced the kind of trauma our child has, both prior to and once institutionalized in an orphanage. This is the hardest decision we have ever made, as a family, but we also have great peace about it and are thankful for so many reasons:
1. We are thankful that our child is here and not back in Ethiopia, where beatings would be given for these same behaviors.
2. We are thankful that we can afford the help our child needs. Last year, at this time, we had no extra money, but God has blessed our business in such a way that we really can pursue the very best help for our child and not worry about the finances.
3. We are thankful that for everyday our child has been in our home we have said, "God loves you. Your Mommy and Daddy love you."
4. We are thankful for our other 8 kids, who are completely FAMILY, loving living their lives together. We are amazed at how much they all enjoy each other and how they truly do love each other.
5. We are thankful for our support system here (and through my sister's family), who without judgement, have walked through this with us and still found so many ways to encourage our child and us. B and G and boys, we really appreciate you.
6. We are thankful for the adoption community we are a part of, where we can email a prayer request and KNOW it will be prayed for by many, many families.
7. We are thankful for a family that demonstrates grace and forgiveness.
8. We are thankful for the lessons we have all learned this past year.
Finally, we are hopeful. We are hopeful that the Ranch will be our child's place of healing. We are hopeful that we can be reunited quickly and completely.
We would appreciate your prayers as we navigate this new journey. We would especially appreciate your prayers for our child. While you pray for our child, please also pray for those little ones out there, who are in circumstances that cause Reactive Attachment Disorder.. I truly believe it is something that makes our Father weep.
One of our newly adopted children is struggling. If you are a reader of this blog, you know the child has been struggling for months, struggling to accept our love (particularly my love), our boundaries and our family. This struggle became so very apparent on our trip. While we watched everyone else bond and attach even more, we watched this child pull away and become more volatile the more time we spent together. This emotional volatility isn't new, but became almost unbearable in such close quarters. Spending three weeks in tight quarters is an excellent tool for increasing attachment for children who can attach. We have seen that with more hugs, smiles and laughter from one of our children. However, I think it's like pulling out toenails for those who struggle with attachment issues. It's just like our homeschool experience with our adopted children. For those who can attach, it has been the best choice. But for the child who has attachment disorders, it is almost painful to have to be around Mom all day, and in a variety of different roles. When our child feels like it has disappointed me with schoolwork or a behavior, the sadness becomes overwhelming and turns to mad and the mad to rage. The more the mad comes out, the more everyone else pulls away, thus creating a vicious cycle.
This child's story is completely different than the story of the other three siblings. It is this very difference that we're seeing played out in our home on a regular basis. It's the same reaction that we know many, many other adoptive families live with on a regular basis. It's the same reaction we were warned against over a year ago, when we started this process. We knew the cost then and we know the cost know and our hearts haven't changed one bit. This child is worth the cost. We honestly wouldn't change our decision a year ago.
However, we have come to a point of knowing that our love is not enough for our child. This child needs more help than we can offer here, even with excellent counselors and supporting environment. This child needs more than the medications we've already tried. At the end of the week, we will drive to a place of healing, a place of hope, The Ranch for Kids in Montana, which specializes in kids who have experienced the kind of trauma our child has, both prior to and once institutionalized in an orphanage. This is the hardest decision we have ever made, as a family, but we also have great peace about it and are thankful for so many reasons:
1. We are thankful that our child is here and not back in Ethiopia, where beatings would be given for these same behaviors.
2. We are thankful that we can afford the help our child needs. Last year, at this time, we had no extra money, but God has blessed our business in such a way that we really can pursue the very best help for our child and not worry about the finances.
3. We are thankful that for everyday our child has been in our home we have said, "God loves you. Your Mommy and Daddy love you."
4. We are thankful for our other 8 kids, who are completely FAMILY, loving living their lives together. We are amazed at how much they all enjoy each other and how they truly do love each other.
5. We are thankful for our support system here (and through my sister's family), who without judgement, have walked through this with us and still found so many ways to encourage our child and us. B and G and boys, we really appreciate you.
6. We are thankful for the adoption community we are a part of, where we can email a prayer request and KNOW it will be prayed for by many, many families.
7. We are thankful for a family that demonstrates grace and forgiveness.
8. We are thankful for the lessons we have all learned this past year.
Finally, we are hopeful. We are hopeful that the Ranch will be our child's place of healing. We are hopeful that we can be reunited quickly and completely.
We would appreciate your prayers as we navigate this new journey. We would especially appreciate your prayers for our child. While you pray for our child, please also pray for those little ones out there, who are in circumstances that cause Reactive Attachment Disorder.. I truly believe it is something that makes our Father weep.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Ethiopia bound- at least some of us!
In November, Mike, Micah, Kael, Janika and Elli will be traveling with Childrens Hopechest to Ethiopia to work with children at two care-points, Trees-of Glory and Kind Hearts. While at Kind Hearts, they will get to meet the little boy we have sponsored for a year and a half. They are SOO very excited to be able to make this trip and travel with such a neat group.
Janika and Elli are hoping to do a little music time with the kids, but we don't have a travel guitar. If anyone has one and would let them use it for the trip, we would really appreciate it. Also, we will be collecting school supplies for them to take to the children there. So, if you're in Williston or Sheridan and would like to donate, please contact us and let us know.
This trip is the first of many our family hopes to take. It is so exciting that Micah feels ready to go back to Ethiopia and serve. He is such an awesome young man, who is great with kids. We are proud of him and his desire to give back. God has truly blessed us with teenagers who love to love on others. We are thankful.
Janika and Elli are hoping to do a little music time with the kids, but we don't have a travel guitar. If anyone has one and would let them use it for the trip, we would really appreciate it. Also, we will be collecting school supplies for them to take to the children there. So, if you're in Williston or Sheridan and would like to donate, please contact us and let us know.
This trip is the first of many our family hopes to take. It is so exciting that Micah feels ready to go back to Ethiopia and serve. He is such an awesome young man, who is great with kids. We are proud of him and his desire to give back. God has truly blessed us with teenagers who love to love on others. We are thankful.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Toby Mac, Kutless and my triplets
I typed the following paragraphs a few days ago, but it didn't upload for some reason..Our kids are had the time of their lives at Camp Electric. Right now they are backpacking with Mike, Leah, Micah KIVU style. The little ones and I are spending some more time in the rv
. By the time we get home, we will have been gone for three weeks, all inside a 32 foot RV. We are ready to be home but God has done some amazing things on this trip, especially with our sweet Gabe. He has come alive and is willing to spend that ever so important snuggle and play time with us.
As I'm typing this, Janika, Kael and Elli are watching Toby Mac and Kutless in concert at Camp Electric. (Mike, the other kids and I are in our RV in a KOA campground having our own kind of fun). This camp is a dream come true for them. They spend 5 days being mentored by Christian artists, in their chosen specialty (Elli- voice, Janika -guitar, and Kael- sound board). Each day the kids will join about 900 other Christian kids in worship, then they have break-out sessions with the artists followed by a concert each night. We are so excited to see how God will use this in each of their lives.
This camp was a well deserved thank you to them for rolling with all the punches thrown at them this year. They have learned so much and handled it all with such grace, often with more than we have. If not for their prodding, we wouldn't have stepped out to adopt our newest kids. Now, it is our greatest delight to hear Leah say, "Mom, I didn't understand who God and Jesus were, but Janika tell me at night in our room." Or Micah telling us, "Kael is my best friend." Then, we see Layne snuggling Elli on our way to camp this morning, with a huge smile on her face, as she feels so loved in Elli's arms.
Last year, we were "cautioned" by many that this adoption would not be fair to our triplets--As I watched them celebrate their thirteenth birthday last week, I was so thankful for the life lessons they have learned this year. It hasn't all been easy, but MOST of it has been filled with joy. We have had, and continue to have struggles with one of our newest children, as this child learns to deal with trauma and learns how to attach. E,J, and K have gained a clear understanding of forgiveness and healing and also a hope for this child's complete healing. They've learned to pray first and they've realized just how very close they are to each other. They've learned valuable communication skills as we walk this road of healing together as a family. They've even been exposed to new career options..Janika is now considering being a child psychologist. We know that God works all things for good, for those called according to HIS purpose and we are seeing that played out each day in our home.
Just a sidenote- we knew to expect God to really do amazing things at Camp Electric, as was evident by the amount of things that went wrong on our way to get here...
1. Our transmission had to be replaced on our "new" RV - it only had 16,000 miles.
2. Mike's credit card got compromised and therefore cancelled on day 2.
3. We ended up staying for 3 days in Rapid City, instead of 1, thanks to the transmission issues and it resulted in some LONG driving hours to get here on time.
4. The potty in the RV was out of commission for awhile while Mike was driving.
5. Our child who is struggling, really struggled in Rapid City and we wondered if we were going to be able to make this trip--we decided to press on and this child is doing really well now.
6. Our sweet, old Lab, Nick, got really sick when we were at our cabin for the kids's birthday and we had to say good-bye to him after we had been home a few days and a few days before this trip...It was a sad, sad time for all of us, as he was a great, loyal friend to all of us and helped all of our kids through times of grief.
Janika, Ellison and Kael- I take GREAT JOY in being your Mom. I am so proud of you and especially of your hearts. Happy late 13th! I can't wait to hear your stories!!
. By the time we get home, we will have been gone for three weeks, all inside a 32 foot RV. We are ready to be home but God has done some amazing things on this trip, especially with our sweet Gabe. He has come alive and is willing to spend that ever so important snuggle and play time with us.
As I'm typing this, Janika, Kael and Elli are watching Toby Mac and Kutless in concert at Camp Electric. (Mike, the other kids and I are in our RV in a KOA campground having our own kind of fun). This camp is a dream come true for them. They spend 5 days being mentored by Christian artists, in their chosen specialty (Elli- voice, Janika -guitar, and Kael- sound board). Each day the kids will join about 900 other Christian kids in worship, then they have break-out sessions with the artists followed by a concert each night. We are so excited to see how God will use this in each of their lives.
This camp was a well deserved thank you to them for rolling with all the punches thrown at them this year. They have learned so much and handled it all with such grace, often with more than we have. If not for their prodding, we wouldn't have stepped out to adopt our newest kids. Now, it is our greatest delight to hear Leah say, "Mom, I didn't understand who God and Jesus were, but Janika tell me at night in our room." Or Micah telling us, "Kael is my best friend." Then, we see Layne snuggling Elli on our way to camp this morning, with a huge smile on her face, as she feels so loved in Elli's arms.
Last year, we were "cautioned" by many that this adoption would not be fair to our triplets--As I watched them celebrate their thirteenth birthday last week, I was so thankful for the life lessons they have learned this year. It hasn't all been easy, but MOST of it has been filled with joy. We have had, and continue to have struggles with one of our newest children, as this child learns to deal with trauma and learns how to attach. E,J, and K have gained a clear understanding of forgiveness and healing and also a hope for this child's complete healing. They've learned to pray first and they've realized just how very close they are to each other. They've learned valuable communication skills as we walk this road of healing together as a family. They've even been exposed to new career options..Janika is now considering being a child psychologist. We know that God works all things for good, for those called according to HIS purpose and we are seeing that played out each day in our home.
Just a sidenote- we knew to expect God to really do amazing things at Camp Electric, as was evident by the amount of things that went wrong on our way to get here...
1. Our transmission had to be replaced on our "new" RV - it only had 16,000 miles.
2. Mike's credit card got compromised and therefore cancelled on day 2.
3. We ended up staying for 3 days in Rapid City, instead of 1, thanks to the transmission issues and it resulted in some LONG driving hours to get here on time.
4. The potty in the RV was out of commission for awhile while Mike was driving.
5. Our child who is struggling, really struggled in Rapid City and we wondered if we were going to be able to make this trip--we decided to press on and this child is doing really well now.
6. Our sweet, old Lab, Nick, got really sick when we were at our cabin for the kids's birthday and we had to say good-bye to him after we had been home a few days and a few days before this trip...It was a sad, sad time for all of us, as he was a great, loyal friend to all of us and helped all of our kids through times of grief.
Janika, Ellison and Kael- I take GREAT JOY in being your Mom. I am so proud of you and especially of your hearts. Happy late 13th! I can't wait to hear your stories!!
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